For the longest time I thought my oversized clitoris was wrong, abnormal and gross. The only organ in my body whose sole purpose was sexual pleasure was the thing bringing me the most displeasure. When I was a preteen, part of me thought I might be intersex. All I saw was tiny, almost nonexistent and neatly tucked clits that looked nothing like mine. I spent most of my formative years avoiding sexual encounters because I was afraid guys would be disgusted by my clit. Outside of porn and very disappointing sex ed, nobody had taught me that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes, textures and hues. None of my girlfriends were walking around proudly bantering about how big their clit was the way my male friends did about their dicks. All I knew was that supposedly men could never find it, which was confusing because mine was definitely not hard to spot.
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I am fifty and a lesbian. I have had a pretty active sex life for the last thirty years, including a couple of long-term relationships. For the last three years, I've been with a woman I love very much. We have amazing sexual chemistry — by far the best I have experienced.
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